


Drowning Shadows

by knightghost



Category: The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: I love James and Kits Interaction in this, James Carstairs as Kits Adopted dad just makes me cry, Kit Herondale is in trouble, Kit misses Ty, Kitty - Freeform, London, Los Angeles, M/M, Missing someone you love, Oneshot, QOAAD, he isn't coping to well, kinda dealing with a sorta kinda rejection, not much angst, takes place AFTER QOAAD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-17
Updated: 2019-02-17
Packaged: 2019-10-30 04:22:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17821814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/knightghost/pseuds/knightghost
Summary: “Boo!” a loud voice from behind basically screamed in his ear. He flinched back, holding onto his ear for dear life. He turned towards where the yelling at came from, but when he did, he didn't expect to see a friend of his.“Livvy?” he asks, and then, “is he okay? Ty?”---in which this takes place 8 months after Kit left to go live with Tessa and James Carstairs in Devon, London.





	Drowning Shadows

The air was cloudy, almost to the point of having to where Three layers of clothing to keep warm from the snow. Even if he was warm enough, he knew the beating of his heart had begun to pick up, his knew his nose had begun to go still. he reached up with his gloved fingers trying to warm it thoroughly but his head only tingled and began to hurt. Sometimes he wonders if he’ll freeze to death due to him not having as many winter clothes as he had needed; he got most of his clothes from his dad but they barely fit him. He continued to walk down the canal smelling the flowers that bloomed popping off a sweet vibrant scent that filled up his nose,. feeling the soft snow as he steps on it with his bottom foot that made his teeth chatter a bit. it was frustrating to not think about how the sky was gray while little particles of snow cascading down leaving little dots on his clothes. Though most of the animals have gone to hibernate, he could tell from the distance that some bunnies were hopping around, leaving trails behind them. Walking down the sloped side of the trail, he carefully- and failed to do so- walk through the snowy path without falling on his feet. The cold winter was always a dangerous thing. in his opinion, it was like a knife cutting through a small icy cloud. It seeped through the air like a ghost passing through you at the grave.

His mind began to think back to the past months in Devon, how his life changed from just living in Los Angeles where the warmth of the sun made a tingle throughout his whole body. The beach, _god_ his misses the beach, The waves clashing against each other as if in a heated battle. the winner standing triumphantly like the whole battle was all in his hands. There was hardly any shade under the scorching hot fire burn of the sun. He remembered everyone back home. He missed the Blackthorn family, with their chocolate-like hair and their skin kissed with lines of tattoos plastered all over their bodies.

He remembered when he would always drag everyone out from their studies and make them change into a bathing suit and run to the beach. He remembered Dru and Tavvy. Dru with her hair Twin braids on both side and a black one piece swimsuit that stuck to her body tightly like it was meant for her. Tavvy with his orange striped shirt and dark shorts. They would always be the ones to make large sandcastles, built to be tall or short or round or even pointy. In the far distance Emma, with her luscious vanilla blond hair sticking to her face, would splash water into Julian’s face but julian, shaggy hair covered in saltwater, would just block it with his hands, laughing so wide you could see his charm. He always enjoyed seeing them smile so wide there laughs always used to calm him down. Especially-

Ty.

He remembered Ty’s smokey eyes that used to flicker from side to side, peering out from under arched brows and thick iny lashes, watching from all his intense stare. The way he would always talk about sherlock as if the world just stopped and he would hold up his hands almost as if he was accusing someone of something. He remembered Ty’s high cheekbones caressed by gentle waves of coal hair, the ends wisping about his slender face. Short bangs fell over the crease of his brow, shifting slightly as he leaned forward. Light flashed over him, silver flecks in his eyes glittered and his hair cast in an obsidian shine. He remembered when Ty used to call him Watson and-

“Kit!?”

he turned his head as he hear someone yell from the small cottage cabin he and his parents lived in. He could hear the worry in his father’s voice when he had called back from the house.

“I’m over here Jem!” he called out, a little shaken after his imminent thoughts were interrupted by his adopted dad who, according to everyone, looks a decade younger than his actual age. His gray hair flipped around as he walked down the slippery slope of the trail to stand next to Kit.

“By the angel, you scared both Tessa and I! We both thought you ran off again,”His eyes made the shape of a crescent moons as he laughed. Jem reached up and ruffled Kits hair almost longingly.

“I mean... I did called out that I was gonna head outside to clear my head...sorry to have scared you or Mom.” his voice became quite distant. He didn’t know what to say to his dad or how to explain that he missed everybody back home.

“You’re okay Kit, I’m not mad. But what’s wrong? Tessa and me have noticed how… lonely you’ve been,” Jem pointed out. “Do you wanna talk about it?” Kit looked far into the distance trying to distract himself from explaining to jem that he is Extremely lonely. Will he admit to that though? No of course not.

“It’s just so different from living in Los Angeles,” he started” I mean it’s nice here, quiet, but it’s also peaceful, not as loud as it was back home.” He remembered waking up to the loud sounds of the cars blaring so loudly that it had became his alarm.

He turns his head to face Jem and stops breathing for a moment because he just knows that Jem is looking at him almost sadly. Those eyes that had the desperate need of wanting to help people. looked down at Kit, his eyes filled with absolute pity that Kit wished he wasn’t giving him.

“Kit, I know we haven’t really known each other for a long time but I have been noticing you’ve been quite distant. Like you want to help out in some way but you just can't think of anything of how to say it or how to put it in the exact words you wanna tell both Tessa and me,” Jem gives a soft smile to Kit. “ The best I can do Kit, is to help you and possibly give you advice. You know you can trust me.”

That’s when Kit started to come clean about his feelings about everything to Jem. He explains like the speed of a car on a highway how much he missed everyone back in Los Angeles. He misses everyone to the point of wanting to go back. He explained to Jem that being away from everyone else had been like missing chess pieces on his board. Everything that has ever happened at the institute back in Los Angeles was just so beautiful and it was almost as if he needs to go back to his second family. It wasn’t until he spoke about Ty that the tears begun to roll down his cheeks. Talking about how telling Ty ‘I love you’ had taken guts, but ultimately feelings had be thrown away. Of course Ty didn’t say it back which destroyed Kit from the inside-out, but he still spoke about Ty the way One would generally speak about a lover.

“I know you are hurting right now Kit and that’s absolutely okay,” Jem began saying after Kit stopped talking. “but you need to see past that and look towards the future.” Jem squeezed his shoulders while wiping away the tears that kept coming down. “I know you miss them Kit, I miss Emma a lot but I know she is safe and im sure everybody else is safe. Ty is okay, he is fine.” He lets go of Kit and faces him.” I know you want to go back hun, but promise me when I say that you are absolutely okay with missing them. You are in fact entitled to miss them. But what is moping around gonna do when you do end up seeing them all again in years from now? You don't need to forget but you also need to move on and continue to move forward.”

Kit continues to cry a bit more onto his shoulder, wetting the nice gray coat Jem was wearing. Everything built up within kit over the last few months had been enough for him to begin to start crying. He asked Jem if he could leave him alone to recollect himself. Jem left after giving kit a tiny squeeze on the shoulder and heading back to the small cottage. know it was just Kit, all alone to think of his own thoughts.

“Boo!” a loud voice from behind basically screamed in his ear. He flinched back, holding onto his ear for dear life. He turned towards where the yelling at came from, but when he did, he didn't expect to see a friend of his.

“Livvy?” he asks, and then, “is he okay? Ty?”

“Well for starters, hello to you too, and Ty is fine. He joined the Scholomance. It's been almost 8 months since he left. Obviously I go and see him once in a while but he is usually busy with that. So I thought I’d come and annoy you” Livvy’s long brown hair flowed all around her as she swam past him to see the bunnies across from the both of them.

“So,” she began when she was as close to him as humanly possible . “This is where you are hiding! It’s really nice here! A lot more trees and grass. A lot better than los angeles and its bipolar weather it always gives off.” She takes a look around amazed at every little thing. She plopped herself on the snow and patted the open space next to her. “I also didn’t just come here to talk to you about where you lived-- I’m here to also give you some advice.” Kit sucked in a deep breath and walked to the open space next to Livvy. When he sat down though, he didn't expect the ice to almost feel like cold frozen water. He didn’t expect it to burn him a bit as he sat.

“What do you wanna talk about then?” he asks and could immediately notice the way she hesitated. It was as if the words were caught back in her throat.

“You need to go on with your life Kit,” she said softly but with a mix of a-matter-of-fact tone of voice but also the other type of voice where you’re talking to a puppy without hurting its feelings. “I know you miss everyone back home Kit, but you have a life here in Devon.” She directed her hands to everything out here and in the back of the cottage. “You also have a loving family that loves you so much. Heck, you have a baby sister that you need to take care of! I know you want to go back Kit I could see it in the way you had asked about Ty but he is okay. He is Ty and he will always get through hardships. Please, for him Kit. Please just think for your future and what it could hold for you.”

Kit let that sink in. he let his mind do all the thinking and he let himself be consumed by her words. He wished so badly to could say he couldn’t move past it but he knew within himself that he just can’t let go. He wanted to go back and live his life with everybody else but he knew she was right. He wished that she wasn’t right but she is on the loop for obvious reasons and is able to cut him off his moping. Looking up at the gray blurred out sky with the same smell of the acidic flavour of the air engrossing him in a deep coldness. He gets up, dusting off the ice on his pants getting some of the ice off his pants He turned to Livvy, who also stood up.

“Thank you Livvy, for opening my eyes to what I need to do. What’s important to me right now.” He smiles at her and leans over to hug her only to realize she isn’t exactly there so he awkwardly reached back to scratch his neck.

“You dork! Now show me around your new house! I wanna see how you live out here!”

That’s exactly what Kit does. though Halfway into giving Livvy a tour around the front of his house, it began to get colder so he leads her inside the house, he swore to himself that he heard a distant voice calling towards him but he shook it off. When he entered he knew from now on, his life is about to become a bit more different then from before.


End file.
